For quite some time now, I have been a very cynical person. I didn't realize until recently however, that that was actually what had happened to me. Now that I recognize it though, I am finding I am very able to change those tendencies and behaviors. This makes me hopeful. I have been cynical about mankind in general. I have been cynical about politics. I have been greatly cynical about love. This is mostly due to the fact that I honestly believed that I wouldn't be finding love anytime soon, if ever.
I am talking in terms of what you might call "romantic love." The kind of love that leads to marriage and babies and happily ever after and finally being "Mrs. Darcy." Yes. I made the Pride and Prejudice reference. Now wait. I need to say something about Pride and Prejudice. As a girl, it is technically my duty to adore this book and everything it stands for. I often hear young women (and not-so-young women) telling young men that P&P contains everything you need to know to understand a woman, and will therefore, basically, unlock the secrets of the Universe. I used to subscribe to this theory, because, as a girl, it was expected.
You know what I think though? I think that if women are truly honest with themselves, they don't really want their lives to be like Pride & Prejudice. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice story and all, and I think a lot of people can get swept up in the characters and the language and Lizzy's boldness and the awkwardness that Mr. Collins encompasses. But it isn't truth. And I don't really think that in the end it's all that romantic either. I realize that I will probably be executed for saying this. But I think that this romance stuff that people are so desperate for is not what you find in fiction.
I think that God is terribly romantic though. He loves with a fierce and unyielding love that is not shaken, and he pursues those he loves to the ends of the earth, even when they don't want him. God loves me this way. And it's the same way that he loves you too.
Because of God, I am finding that I am a romantic after all, too. And I believe that I will find the "romantic love" that I am looking for because God wants us to have that kind of love. He created that kind of love. He created people to need each other. More importantly, he created people to need HIM.
I'm finding that true love might not actually be as emotional as it is painted in the movies. And I find that thought refreshing. Sure, love includes feelings, but it is so much more than that, too. I can't really wrap my brain all the way around that concept, but I am slowly starting to figure things out - mostly from observing other people in my life who know what love is.
Maybe I'll get there one of these days after all.