Sunday, May 24, 2009


I'm finding it's way too easy for me to curl up in my shell and just shuffle through life alone, and I hate that. I love people, and I have an honest need for them, but at the same time I often find myself trapped in my fears of being unacceptable and unloved that I sometimes physically stop myself from being with people. 

Why do I do this? I'm only just scratching the surface in realizing that this is what I've been doing to myself. The psychosis must run much deeper, but I haven't gotten there yet.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want someone to know, and I want someone to help me out of it. I can see myself letting life slip by and that scares me more than the things that are stopping me from living fully. I feel paralyzed by this.