I have since changed my mind. Part of the beauty of being a human is that we don't get to know what's coming next.
What I do get is to be awake and alive, staring at the possibilities of what life can be when I am truly leaning on and trusting in God. And for one of the first times in my life, I am surrounded by people who are actually pouring encouragement into me and through shared experiences we are learning about life and God together. It's refreshing because I've never lived my life like this before. I've spent a lot of time as a spiritual hermit, and as a result of that I have spent a lot of years wasted in the sense that I haven't been experiencing faith with other Christians. It changes so much.
And for that I am so thankful and hopeful for whatever is coming.