On a slightly related topic, I have been feeling a strange pull toward missions lately. This has always been a tough area for me, because I am not evangelically inclined. I can't walk up to people I don't know and start talking about the Lord. It's just not in me, as much as I might want to tell someone about Jesus. I remember a couple of years ago I was thinking about this topic in a similar manner when my church was preparing to go to Nicaragua on a missions trip. Part of me really wanted to go, but I didn't feel called to it, so I decided not to go. I heard someone say something once about missions that resonated with me, and I think I have always carried it with me. They said something to the effect of, "You don't always have to tell people about Jesus with words." To me, that means that if you love someone the way Jesus loved people, they will come to understand Christ's love in that way.
I think that is how I was called to missions. Maybe I'm just supposed to go somewhere and HELP people. I want to go to Africa or Asia and take care of orphans, or help people get clean water and protection from disease. I know that I wasn't made to stand on street corners and proclaim the Gospel like some people were made, but I can serve. And for me, that in itself is a mind-blowing revelation, because I never saw myself as that person before. But I really think that God designed me for a lot of things that I just never saw until now. I still don't really know what that looks like yet, because I also don't believe I was meant to serve alone. I believe I was built for a partnership, which I haven't been made a part of yet. But I think God is definitely showing me a glimmer of what's in my future. With that hope, I move forward.
"I am willing, but I'm so afraid...you give me strength when I say...I wanna be your hands, I wanna be your feet...I'll go where you send me, go where you send me...And I'll try, yeah I'll try, to touch the world like you've touched my life...And I'll find my way to be your hands..." (Hands and Feet by Audio Adrenaline)