last ditch

I've been thinking all day about how I wanted a new post before the month was up. But...I couldn't come up with anything I really wanted to write about.

I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things recently. For example, I've been trying to figure out why I didn't get hired for a certain job when my interview went really well, and I felt like they were really interested in me. No answers come, except that maybe that was God closing a door. I'm okay with that as an explanation, but I'm now trying to locate the window he left open...and not quite seeing it. Yet. That doesn't mean he isn't doing other things for me in the meantime. 

I got my tax return two days ago - what a blessing right now, let me tell you! It wasn't a huge amount, but it will definitely keep me going for a bit longer. The first thing I thought when it came was the phrase "The Lord will Provide." I knew from some distant memory that that was the definition of one of God's names. So I went searching for it and found it in the Hebrew to be Yahweh Jireh. 

God provides. But he needs us to trust him. It's hard, but I'm finding that it's worth it. 

Goodbye January. You were interesting, and I liked that.

hymnal

No matter how long it's been since I gave my life to Jesus Christ (in case you're super curious, it was almost 18 years ago), I am constantly floored by the beauty of my Savior and his Awesome power. 

We sang this song at church last night, and while it wasn't my first experience with this hymn, I was struck by it in a new way and I had to share it. I think what hit me hardest last night was the verse that goes "From life's first cry to final breath/Jesus commands my destiny/No power of hell, no scheme of man/Can ever pluck me from His hand" because it's such a great reminder that I'm not trying to do life on my own. Thank goodness! Jesus has me by the hand, and if I'm trusting in him, nothing's going to stop him from doing the work he has planned. What a wonderful promise!

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

Desert Island

In honor of a crazy interview I had recently, I think we should play Desert Island.

So, here's how it works (I'm sure you know!):

If you were stranded on a deserted island, and you could only have a handful of things with you, what would you bring? You can have 3 books, 3 movies, and 3 CDs. This is a tech-savvy island, which allows you to play movies & music I guess, but it's just how the game works, so deal! =)

I'll start with my list according to how I answered my interview questions (although we didn't talk music, so I'm making that list now):

Books

The Bible

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Chronicles of Narnia (they make a version that's all seven books in one)

Movies

Pride & Prejudice (starring Keira Knightly)

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (although now that I've had a chance to think about it, I'd trade this one for the newer live-action Peter Pan starring Jeremy Sumpter and Jason Isaacs. Sorry Mr. Lucas.)

CDs

Plans by Death Cab for Cutie

Amy Seeley (I'd compile call it life, the trees are glad you're back, & eight belles onto one disc. Thanks iTunes!)

         ...and I'd have to flip a coin between 

Continuum by John Mayer and Mmhmm by Relient K

Okay, now it's your turn. Feel free to comment on my nerdiness - I have no problem admitting how goofy I am. But I want to know your answers too!

Have fun!

proof that I'm going crazy...

...or that I'm doing something right.

I spent a solid two hours writing this afternoon. It was surprising to me that my attention span lasted, but also that I made real progress. My male lead is developing his character, and I'm prepping to nearly completely rewrite the first section that I wrote today. Yeah, I know...I made progress and now I'm changing everything. That is part of the proof that I am doing something right! 

Proof that I may be going crazy: one of my minor characters (or so I thought!) decided that she wanted to be someone else. She told me. And she wouldn't let it go until I made the change in my notes. Like I said, I may be going crazy. But I know that I'm not the only writer that this happens to. Stephenie Meyer, for example, tells a similar story about one of her minor characters in the Twilight series. On her website, she writes, "Jacob's development into a major character was a strange journey. Originally, Jacob was just a device. ... Something happened then that I didn't expect. Jacob was my first experience with a character taking over—a minor character developing such roundness and life that I couldn't keep him locked inside a tiny role. (Since Jacob, this has reoccurred with several other meant-to-be-minor characters. I really love it when this happens, though it often destroys my outlines.) From the very beginning, even when Jacob only appeared in chapter six of Twilight, he was so alive. I liked him. More than I should for such a small part."

Granted, I haven't gotten far enough in my story to have what happened to me tonight be monumental...yet. Although I'm already seeing changes just from this one thing. A few hours ago, Elizabeth was just a name I had written down to fill out a family that was functioning as backstory. Now, she's editing the plot! 

I think that I am really starting to love the writing process. Bring on the insanity! =)

inspiration

What is inspiration? Is it just one of those fancy words that artistic people use? You know how those interviews go; "Who or what inspires you?" and the response that comes after, "You know, I'd have to say Van Gogh (if the artist is a painter) or Jimi Hendrix (if the artist is a rock guitarist)." 

That isn't to say that I don't have an appreciation for Hendrix, or even a sort of awe when I look at "Starry Night," but what does it really mean to be inspired? I like words, so let's go visit dictionary.com for a definition, shall we? 

According to the entry for inspire (verb), "to inspire" is:

1. to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.

OR
5. to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

Okay, now we have something to work with. What animates you? What brings the life out of you? 

Here is a list (in progress) of what stirs my heart to action or reflection. These are the things that make me want to create something of beauty in response to what they have done in me.

*stars: the heavens never cease to amaze me and remind me of God's majesty

*dreams: daydreams are the best because they stay with you longer

*lyrics: the kind that mean something...not manufactured for an audience, but a piece of the writer's heart (an excellent example: amy seeley)

*photography with soul: if a picture really is worth a thousand words, what happens when a photo renders me speechless? 

*creativity that serves: there is little more encouraging to me than seeing someone use their talents and gifts to make the world better for others

*color: that certain shade of aqua or coral that can just make my day brighter 

*love: pure and unselfish love is somewhat harder to come by these days, it seems, but when I see it, I can't help but be moved to rejoice

*design: true, the clothes don't make the man, but the design says a lot about the man (or woman!) who created the clothes. Somewhere in that expression is the key that makes me want to create things myself.

"so this is the new year...

...and I don't feel any different."

-The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie

Actually, I do feel different. This year holds all sorts of hope and new possibilities, and I am determined to start it off right. My goal is to maintain a positive outlook and a prayerful attitude. I want to make loving people a priority. I want to not only start things, but also finish them, and put my whole heart into whatever I'm doing.

These are not resolutions. They are simply things that I would like to see grow in me this year.

Happy 2009!