I'm struggling with change right now. I think I've talked about this before at some point, but it really seems like once one thing shifts in my life, everything starts to move on behind it.
Pretty much as soon as I decide to move in the fall to finish college, I have several friends that are also moving - in one case, halfway around the world! I know these things happen routinely in life, it just feels like everything always crashes at once. I'm pretty used to not having solid constants in my day-to-day - my life has been in a state of flux for the last six years - but I'm finding that while some of these upcoming changes are good and exciting (like college and the opportunities my friends are taking), they also hurt. A lot. I'm really going to miss people. And I'm really scared of the newness this will bring to my life - I'm not used to holding on to people (up until a few years ago friends have not been constants), so losing people that I genuinely care about is difficult.
Starting over, by myself, and knowing that some of what is "home" to me won't be there when I come back is terrifying. I'm in the middle of processing this, so you'll have to give me some time.