Why do I do this? I'm only just scratching the surface in realizing that this is what I've been doing to myself. The psychosis must run much deeper, but I haven't gotten there yet.
Why am I telling you this? Because I want someone to know, and I want someone to help me out of it. I can see myself letting life slip by and that scares me more than the things that are stopping me from living fully. I feel paralyzed by this.