Friday, August 1, 2008

Turbulence

I need validation.

I need to know that someone can love me - the mess that I am - without needing me to change first into some ideal that they have. 

I know God loves me. I know that is supposed to be enough. Is it so wrong of me to feel like it's not enough though? I feel like such a terrible person for even voicing that. 

I've felt like a terrible person a lot lately. I don't like that.

I feel like I am listless - a tiny boat lost at sea, bouncing around from wave to wave. My compass doesn't point north anymore. I don't know where I am, or where I am going, or even where I really want to go. How could anyone want a mess like this?

I need to know if someone even could. 

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