Wednesday, October 7, 2009


I hate that I hide so much of myself from the world. I hate that I hide so much even from the people who think they know me best. The people that I feel closest to.

I wear a mask. Sometimes my quirks slip around it, but once someone notices that they're there, I reign them back in. One strange look from another person and I run for my shell. I don't know why it matters to me so much, but I crave acceptance from people. I crave love.

The funny thing is that I'm content with who I am at the core. I'm pretty weird, but I don't mind when I'm by myself. It's just that I wonder if anyone will ever really see me for all that I am and be okay with it - like it, even. Then I wonder if I'll ever let anyone get close enough to actually know the inside me. I want to. I'm just afraid.


Mer said...

I remember the moment I realized that Bryan liked me - and didn't care about the things that I like least about myself. It was like a breath of fresh air. And I fell in love.

I believe that this will happen to you as well. You will find someone that you can be completely open with - and in return you will receive LOVE.

For the time being, just know that your friends care about you - and will like you even (especially?) when you let your quirks shine through. :)

Dana said...

Aw, thanks Mer! That's so cool about Bryan - I hope that I do have a story like that someday. But in the meantime, I'm very thankful to have friends like you in my life. :)